17 May 2024 – Triduum Day 3 (Novena Day 8) – Friday, 7th Week of Easter

by Fr Paul Kee, CSsR

My dear friends, in today’s Gospel, the writer of John’s Gospel used two words, two Greek words for love, philia and agape. Brotherly love, fraternal love and unconditional love.

The Greeks have seven or eight words for love. Different words. All very meaningful and very different kinds of love.

The first day of the Triduum, we talked about Inclusivity.
Second day about Unity.
And today is the third day. It is about Caring. Caring for others, caring about oneself and caring for the environment.

Another word for care and kindness, it is Love.
Today’s Gospel is about love. Today’s homily is about love.

In the bustling city of Arcadia, there was a humble caf tucked away on the quiet street corner. That’s the cafe.

This cafe was run by a young woman named Emily whose warm smile and genuine kindness drew customers from near and far. That’s Emily. Very pretty lady.

One rainy afternoon as Emily was preparing for the lunch rush, a dishevelled man entered the cafe. He wore tattered clothes and had a weary look in his eyes. Seeing his need, Emily approached him with a gentle smile and offered him a seat by the window.

Instead of shooing him away as other establishments might have done to this man who looked like a beggar, Emily listened intently, attentively as the man named David shared his story.

David had fallen on hard times and had wandering the streets for days with no food or shelter to call his own.

Without hesitation, Emily set out to work. She prepared a hearty meal for David, serving him steaming soup in freshly baked bread. As he ate, Emily chattered with David, offering words of encouragement and support. Support.

After finishing his meal, David thanked Emily profusely. His eyes brimming with gratitude and Emily in turn offered David a job at the cafe knowing that every one deserved a second chance or a third chance or a fourth chance. All the chances in the world.

With tears of joy streaming down his face, David accepted the job, promising to work hard and repay Emily’s kindness in any way he could.

In the days that followed, David became an integral part of the cafe family, serving customers with a smile and a kind word. Always hospitable. Emily watched with pride as David gradually regained his confidence and sense of purpose and meaning in life.

But Emily’s kindness did not stop there. She noticed that there were other individuals in need who wandered into her cafe. And for them too, she never turned them away empty handed.

Whether it was a warm meal, a cup of coffee or tea, or simply a listening ear, Emily always made sure to offer whatever she could to the people she saw entering her cafe, needing some kind of help.

Word of Emily’s generosity spread throughout the city and soon the cafe became more than just a place to grab a bite or eat or have a drink. It became, the cafe became a beacon of hope and compassion, where anyone, regardless of their circumstances could find solace, comfort and support.

And so in this small corner of this busting city of Arcadia, this simple act of caring for others transformed a humble cafe into a sanctuary of kindness and empathy that touched the lives of all who entered its doors.

Caring for others. Caring for others is a fundamental aspect of human nature that involves showing concern, empathy and compassion towards the well-being of others. At its core, caring for others means acutely taking steps to support, to help, to uplift those around us.

Whether they are friends, family, or acquaintances, or even strangers, the meaning of caring for others extends beyond just providing material assistance. It encompasses emotional support, understanding and genuine connection.

Caring for others involves being present to others in times of need, offering a listening ear, showing kindness in both small gestures and significant actions.

Caring for others also involves recognising and respecting people’s individuality. Acknowledging their feelings and validating their experiences. Never belittling them, never criticising them harshly or putting them down.

It means putting aside our own needs and desires at times to prioritise the needs of others, demonstrating selflessness and altruism.

Ultimately, my dear friends, the meaning of caring for others lies in fostering relationships built on trust, mutual respect and reciprocity.

It strengthens bonds within communities, promotes empathy and understanding and contributes to a more compassionate and harmonious society.

Caring for oneself. Caring for oneself often refer to as self care or selfless care. It is not selfish care it is not selfish love.

Caring for oneself, caring for my own needs is about taking care of myself. It is not selfish. Not self-centred. Not egotistical.

It is the practice of intentionally taking care of one’s physical, mental, emotional, yes even spiritual well-being. It involves prioritising one’s own needs, desires and personal growth in order to maintain a healthy and fulfilling life.

Love your neighbour as yourself. We love ourselves first. Only then can we reach out and love others.

The meaning of caring for oneself encompasses several important aspects. And I have four here.

Number One: Physical Health. This includes engaging in regular exercise, sleeping well, having a positive mental attitude, eating nutritious foods, getting enough sleep and attending to any medical needs. Okay? And as for myself, I have cut down on sugar and rice. Some people think I am trying to prepare myself to be a model. I am too old to be a model but I can still cut down on sugar.

Second point: Mental and Emotional Health. Caring for oneself mentally and emotionally involves managing stress. Stress produces cortisol. Cortisol will be very bad for you and me.

Practising mindfulness and relaxation techniques, seeking therapy or counselling when needed and engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfillment. 

Third point: Personal Growth. Caring for oneself involves investing time and energy into personal development and growth. This may include pursuing hobbies and interests, setting and working towards personal goals short-term and long-term, working towards learning new skills and nurturing creativity.

I am planning to learn the guitar. I am afraid it will hurt my fingers so I am too lazy to start. Any suggestions? Anyway.

Point number four: Seeking Support. Now this one is important because in our culture, we tend not to ask people for help, right? We think we can do all by ourselves, you know. When we can’t do it on our own, we go to Google, we go to YouTube, we go to ChatGPT or we go to a bookshop where they have the self-help column and we buy all the books in the self-help section to help ourselves. But our culture does not seem to motivate us to ask other people for help, especially people who know and can help us.

It is important to recognise them. When additional support is needed and to seek help from others when necessary. This may involve reaching out to friends, to family members or mental health professionals for support during difficult times. Get over the feeling of fear, of asking for help. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Asking for help is about looking after ourselves. It is a sign of good health, good power.

It is not a sign of weakness and vulnerability. It is about strength and courage.

Now over all the meaning of Caring for Oneself is about fostering a sense of self-worth, self-compassion and self-respect. It involves recognising that one’s own well-being is valuable and deserving of attention and care just as much as the well-being of others. We can only love others as we love ourselves.

Today I introduce the third Parable. You have heard the Parable of the Wheat and the Weeds? That is Inclusivity. Yesterday we did the Parable of the Good Samaritan and today is another Parable.

What is it? If you can guess, I’ll give you a basket of fruits which I will steal from the Father’s house.

It is a Gospel story, the wonderful Gospel story of the Prodigal Son.

In our traditional Catholic teaching, we usually focus on the all-forgiving, the unconditionally loving father of the Prodigal Son. The guy in the middle there (on the slide).

Second in importance is the Prodigal Son, who realises his mistake and wrongdoing and repents, humbling himself to seek his father’s forgiveness and his father’s food. Remember he was eating with pigs. He was hungry. They did not even give him the food of the pigs. So he went home.

The son was primarily thinking of filling his empty stomach. And then secondarily, to ask his father for forgiveness. Hunger can be a very powerful motivator.

I think we often miss out on another aspect. The more important aspect, rather the most important aspect of the Parable of the Prodigal Son. This is a challenging aspect, possibly provoking us and turning our complacent world and comfort zone upside down.

This aspect of the Prodigal Son is about the eldest son. And the lesson is this:

The eldest son is in the farm, working late in the evening, overtime perhaps. No pay because eldest son. Eldest son don’t get overtime pay. It is getting dark. And the eldest son hears music and faintly sees in the distance people dancing, having a good time.

“Is there a party going on? Hello! Is there a party going on? Nobody told me. What kind of a celebration is that? I see people dancing, I hear music. No one told me!”

The eldest son called a servant. “Hey, come here. What is going on?”

The servant tells the eldest son that his “useless” brother has come home. His father has organised a party, called the caterers, engaged a live band and slaughtered the eldest son’s favourite calf. His pet.

The eldest son, furiously, enraged by this, what was happening, marches home and confronts his father. Now here is a lesson for all of us. All of us, me also.

“Dad, why did you discount me? Must I be the last to know what is going on around here? There I am, slaving for you, trying to be the best farm manager for you, sacrificing all my time and energy, working overtime, being the good son, and then finding out that I am the last person to know that my “useless” brother has returned home and you are throwing a party for him. Even the caterers and the live band know that before me.”

“And dad, you have forgiven him. This “useless” guy. No punishment. And you slaughtered my favourite calf. My pet. And threw a party for my brother.”

“Am I not worthy? You did not even send me an SMS, or written a memo to tell me there is a party going on.”

“Have I ever betrayed you like my “useless” brother and not deserve your forgiveness? Why, dad? Why?”

My dear friends, this is the lesson. 

The important lesson from the Prodigal Son that caring for others means not discounting anyone. Yes, discount no one. Even those we do not like, even those who do not like us, even those we call our enemies, or those people who call us enemy.  

Discounting no one whatsoever. 

Being caring and inclusive and grateful, these are lessons from the Prodigal Son. No discounting others.

If caring is our priority, then discounting, belittling others, putting them down, taking them for granted, using others has consequences. Immediate bad effect.

Whatever we say, whatever we don’t say, whatever we do, whatever we don’t do, even when we remain silent, keep quiet when people ask us a question or say something to us we look down and we don’t say anything, has consequences.

We will either draw people closer to us or we push them away by what we say, what we don’t say, what we do, what we don’t do and even by keeping silent.

Discounting others is a disrespectful and pushes people away. Away from us and becomes a habit. If it becomes a habit, people will then tend to avoid us, keep away from us, shun us.

Hence, my dear friends, the Parable of the Prodigal Son should be rightfully named The Parable of the Discounting Father. Or if you like, The Parable of the Discounted Eldest Son.

I think that is a proper title to remind us not to discount anybody. Not remind us. Challenge us.

Who have we been discounting recently?
Who has discounted us recently?
Hard to forget being discounted, right?

Your birthday party, somebody deserves to be invited. You did not invite that person.

You wrote your will. Somebody deserves to be in that will. You left that name out.

Somebody said good morning to you today and you looked the other way.

These are acts of discounting. 

How do you think others who have been discounted, ignored and disrespected by us feel?

Discounting means not caring.

Okay? Enough about discounting. I am sure you heard enough, right?

The next aspect is about caring about the environment. I am not going to go into detail but I have one very beautiful quotation from Pope Francis. Because as you know, Pope Francis wrote a wonderful document called Laudato Si’, about preserving and respecting the environment and doing whatever we can, okay, to protect the planet earth for our future generation.

And this is the quote:
The culture of care, as a common, solitary and participatory commitment to protect and promote the dignity and good of all, as a disposition to care, attention, compassion, reconciliation and recovery, mutual respect and acceptance, is a privileged way to build peace.

Take good care of creation. Saint Francis of Assisi wanted this. When people occasionally forgive but nature doesn’t forgive. If we don’t take care of the environment, there is no way of getting around it.

Caring for one’s self and caring for others and caring for the environment.

Now remember I promised you a movie, I am going to do it now. This is the one. It is called “The Help“. Short and wonderful story that celebrates the three themes that we did the last three days, Inclusivity, Care and Unity.

And “The Help” movie is based on a novel by Kathryn Stockett, published by Penguin Books in 2009. And this novel was made into a film or movie in the year 2011. 

The movie is set in Jackson, Mississippi during the 1960s. It follows the lives of three women, Aibileen and Minny, who are two African American maids and Skeeter, a young white woman aspiring to be a writer.

The novel explores the racial tensions and social injustices of the time, 1960s, particularly through the lens of domestic workers in white households.

As Skeeter, the young white woman, an aspiring writer, begins to question the status quo, not only question the status quo and in her own way she challenge the status quo which supports oppression of the maids, the African American maids, the black maids, she forms a deep bond and relationship with them, especially with Aibileen, Minny and other marginalised women in her society.

Together they collaborate on a secret project to compile their experiences into a book, risking their safety and reputations in pursuit of justice and equality. Okay?

No church bell ringing, no keyboard playing. That means I have got some more time.

With a bit more time, my dear friends, I would just like to summarise the last three days.

And the last three days can be summarised in the three Parables:
The Parable of the Wheat and the Weeds or the Tares and the Darnel;
The Parable of the Good Samaritan;
and today, The Parable of the Prodigal Son.

Unity is in the Parable of the Wheat and the Weeds. Accepting and understanding imperfection in myself and in others. The new Norm of Perfection is accepting imperfection in ourselves and in others.

Inclusivity: Parable of the Good Samaritan. Trusting others to help and to guide us even people we call our enemies. Inclusivity is about welcoming and trusting others like the person in the ditch. Welcoming the enemy, the Good Samaritan, to help him in his troubles.

Caring: Parable of the Prodigal Son. Try our best never, never, never to discount, to belittle, or to put down anybody. Keep everybody in our sphere of love and care.

So here, my dear friends, the three themes, INCLUSIVITY, UNITY and CARE, in the three Parables.

I would like to thank you all for listening to the last three days. It has been a pleasure.

In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Click to live-stream Mass on 17 May 2024