29 December 2024 – The Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph (Year C)

by Fr Fabian Dicom

Today as we celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family, we are reminded of the sacredness and beauty of family life. Families are where we experience love, joy and the support that shapes who we are. But we also know that family life can be challenging, family life can be complex. There are struggles, there are misunderstandings and moments of tension. Yet, in the midst of all these realities, God’s grace often shines the brightest.

The Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph shows us that holiness does not require perfection but rather love, patience and a willingness to grow together. Our Readings today give us a rich foundation of all these.

In the First Reading from 1 Samuel, we see Hannah dedicating her son, Samuel, to God, acknowledging that her child is a gift entrusted to her care. A gift entrusted to her care.

In the Second Reading from the 1st Letter of John, we are reminded of our identity as God’s children and that love that flows from this relationship.

And finally the Gospel from Luke shows us the very human moment in the Holy Family. Misunderstanding, worry and a reminder of the larger mission of the Family. 

Now let us reflect this morning on how we can find grace in our families by recognising them as a gift, like Hannah, navigating struggles with love and forgiveness and discovering the deeper mission of family in today’s world.

Now in the First Reading from 1 Samuel, Hannah’s joy and gratitude in dedicating Samuel to God remind us that family is gift, even amidst struggles. And in today’s busy world, it is easy to lose sight of this. We get caught up in the daily grind, long work hours, endless school activities and the constant pull of technology. Sometimes we only realise the value of family when it is too late, when a loved one moves away, when a loved ones falls ill and is no longer with us.

The struggles are real. Parents working multiple jobs, barely having time to connect with their children. Young people feeling unseen because everyone is glued to their devices. Siblings growing distant because they are wrapped up in their own worlds. The self-absorption where everyone is so engrossed in their own concerns can make families feel like strangers living under the same roof.

What can we do? It starts with small changes. Turn off the TV and put down the phone during the meals. Take a moment to say ‘I appreciate you.‘ Take a moment to say ‘I am grateful to you.‘

I have noticed that it is so difficult even to say ‘please‘ and ‘thank you‘. I have been to dinners and gatherings with families. They treat the priests very well. ‘Good morning, Fr.‘ ‘Good evening, Fr.‘ ‘Please take this.‘ But when it comes to their own family, ‘Pass‘, ‘That one lah‘ ‘Quickly…..‘ No ‘thank you‘, no ‘please‘.

These little acts remind us that our families members are not just fixtures in our lives. They are gifts from God. Recognising this gift is the first step towards healing and strengthening our families. But even when we recognise our families as gifts, struggles are inevitable.

In today’s Gospel, we see Mary and Joseph searching anxiously for Jesus. Their question ‘Why have you done this to us?‘ Now that question captures the raw emotions of parents feeling hurt, anxious or misunderstood. Now Jesus responds that ‘He must be about His Father’s business‘ reveals a tension between the family’s expectation and the individual’s purpose.

This tension is familiar to all of us. I have gone through that. I know that this is familiar.

Parents often expect their children to meet certain goals or fulfil certain dreams. And when those expectations are not met, it can lead to frustration and even emotional manipulation.

On the other hand, children can become so absorbed in their own worlds, their goals, their desires, that they neglect their parents’ feelings, all the sacrifices, all the efforts made for them. And the result is sometimes misunderstanding and therefore hurt and resentment.

I strongly believe, looking at the way I have been with my family and the families that I know and minister to, the way forward is forgiveness. Forgiveness is not just about moving past obvious hurts but also about addressing the unspoken wounds caused by unmet expectations or selfishness. Forgiveness breaks the cycle of resentment.

It says ‘I choose to heal rather than to hold onto bitterness.‘ And it is very liberating. And if you are contemplating trying that, don’t hesitate.

Think about how many families remain divided because no one is willing to take the first step. Imagine the transformation that could happen if someone said ‘I am sorry I tried to control you‘ or ‘I am sorry I was too focused on myself to see your needs.’

In forgiving and being forgiven, we create space for God’s grace to work in our families. And this forgiveness must be unconditional.

The Holy Family did not just exist for themselves. They lived for a greater purpose. Mary and Joseph nurtured Jesus so He could fulfil his mission to bring God’s love to the world. The Holy Family was not meant to be an exclusive unit but a symbol of inclusion. And therefore, families too are called to be places where love does not stay confined but radiates outwards.

Society often tells us to focus on our own success, to focus on our own happiness, to stay guarded, to stay protected, take care of your own.

But the Holy Family challenges us to think bigger. In a world fractured by divisions of race, of religion, of social status, this is revolutionary.

What if our families become outward-looking? Communities that welcome and nurture others especially those who are forgotten, especially those who are marginalised, especially those who are excluded? What if we just decide that we are going to be open?

The mission might seem overwhelming but it starts with small steps like reaching out to a neighbour who is lonely and struggling, by mending relationships with extended family members who feel alienated or volunteering together as a family to support those in need. I know this happens but not enough. These acts of love deepen our bonds and help us to live out the revolutionary mission of family.

Now as we see in 1 John, the Second Reading, our identity as God’s children, as His beloved daughters and sons, calls us to love not just in words but in action and truth. When families embrace this mission, totally, they become reflections of God’s kingdom.

Transforming the parish. Transforming the church.

Let me just divert. I think we have to start there.

The whole of Advent in this parish, there was hardly any outreach for anyone. It was all about ourselves. Maybe a little bit, some individuals. It was all about ourselves right until Christmas. Sometimes I think we are metaphorically obese by taking so much for ourselves. Perhaps we need to start with you all, as individuals and families, to make that change. Then you will transform this community, then you will transform the church. And you will transform the world.

One act of love at a time.

The Feast of the Holy Family is not about presenting an ideal of perfection. It is about finding grace in the reality of family life. It is about seeing our families as gifts, navigating struggles with love and forgiveness and embracing the mission to go beyond ourselves and to be families for others.

So today let us renew our commitment to love, within our homes and beyond. Let us take the small steps that make a big difference.
Sharing a kind word.
Forgiving a past hurt.
Opening our hearts to those in need.

May the Holy Family inspire us to be families that reflect God’s love in all we do.

Amen.

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